THINGS MEN CAN DO THAT GIRLS CANNOT

Take heart guys, there's some things you do a whole lot better than women. Are you ready to see what you're better at? 

Go Topless 

My friend-MAR RUAZA 

Sure, women can go topless on the beach, but we can do it whenever and wherever we please. Walking down the street? Off. Mowing the lawn? Off. Street ball? Skins. Rollerblading - women can try it, but it might be painful. Still in doubt? What gender do you think is responsible for "No Shirts. No Shoes. No Service."? Useless nipples and the lack of over-sized sweat glands are the reasons for this entry on our list of things only men can do.

Hold Our Liquor 

Sorry ladies, we're genetically wired to pack it away a lot better than you. Men produce more of the protective enzyme alcohol dehydrogenase, which breaks down alcohol. This ultimately means that while you're buzzing off one Cosmo and saying "I love this song" for five songs straight, we can enjoy another two whisky sours and continue to debate whether or not the world can be saved from global warming. 

Navigate Spatially 

Men are much better at seeing things as they really are - in 3-D. True, the fact that we can see Spy Kids 3-D in focus is no reward, but our superior ability to see shapes also improves our abilities in geometry and math. This explains why more men are math geniuses than women. Sure, the journal Science declared otherwise in 2008 and we are socialized to believe girls are less competent in this realm, but tradition is a hard thing to beat. 

Play Real Sports 

Be honest, which of these would you prefer to watch: WNBA or NBA? NHL or women's hockey? NFL or women's rugby? MLB or softball? We understand that women play plenty of sports and, yes, they are good athletes, but their sports are a snooze fest to watch. An example, in the WNBA a slam dunk stops the presses, while in the NBA, unless it's a back reverse through three defenders, it's just another two points. 

Fertilize Eggs

Call it mankind, humankind or people-kind, we have fertilized history. Yes, our swimmers are under siege from early scientific studies that show women can create sperm from their own bone marrow. And of course, studies are also underway to grow babies out of the womb. Are these studies headed by lesbians? Anyway, until our offspring are named 1765A and 1766B, our tadpoles will continue to hit the target. 

Pee Standing Up 

Full bladder, but there's a line for the urinal? Just step outside and pee behind a dumpster. On a camping trip? Pee and lean against a tree to steady your flow. While women have to unzip, pull down and crouch before they can go, our process is pretty simple: Find some cover, unzip and go. And if we want to write our name in the snow, we can see exactly what we're doing. 

And...Write Their Name In Snow 

wished you could do this? Sorry this is only man's discipline. 

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