Jokes

Teacher:if you gave 100php to your friend and he/she only needs 50php, how much will be return to you ?

Student:

NOTHING!!!!!!!

Teacher: You DONT KNOW MATH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Student:

You dont kno my FRIENDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Interviewer:Question: “Ano gagawin mo kung gumising ka na may katabi na 1 million pesos?

Amerikano: “Go on a world tour”

Hapon: “ Put up a hotel”

Pinoy: tulog uli para maging 2 million!

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TEACHER: okay class our lesson for today is science. What is science?

PEDRO: ako ma'am! Ako ma'am!

TEACHER: okay Pedro, what is science?

PEDRO: science is our lesson for today.

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DALAWANG LANGAW NAKADAPO SA TAE:

LAngAw#1: pArE uUtOt AkO!

LAngAw#2:pArE wALAng gAnyAnAn, kUmAkAin tAyO!

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Teacher: verb is an action word, juan.. give me an example of a verb.

Juan: “went” ma’am.

Teacher: very good! use it in a sentence..

Juan: maria go went to town..

Teacher: wrong! kung gagamit ka ng went wala na yung go!

Juan: ma’am ung “go” ee apelyido ni maria!, intindihin mo kc ung sentence ma’am! hnd ung nagrereact ka kaagad!

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TITSER: bakit ka late?

BOY: nawalan kasi ng P500 yung lalaki.

TITSER: tinulungan m sya maghanap?

BOY: hindi, tinapakan ko lang hanggang umalis siya

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STUDENT: Sir, musta po ung GRADES ko???

TEACHER: Aba iha ! kasing ganda ng buhok mo.

STUDENT: Talaga po? wow naman (:

TEACHER: oo iha parang bagong REBOND .............. 

BAGSAK NA BAGSAK !!!

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Mga payo tungkol sa pag ibig...

Para sa mga MAY ASAWA-magsindi ng PULANG KANDILA 

para tumagal ang pag ibig...^^

Para sa mga BALO at BYUDA- magsindi ng ASUL N KANDILA 

para dumating ang bagong pag ibig....^^

Para sa mga may BF/GF- mag sindi ng PINK N KADILA

para manatili ang romance & affection..

Para sa mga SINGLE- magsindi ng KATOL

habang naghihintay...para di lamukin.

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Four main reasons why a girl stops texting a guy. 

1. You got her mad 

2. You got boring 

3. She fell asleep 

4. You said the letter “K.

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Teacher: Juan read your 500-word essay in front of the whole class.

JUAN: “My Doggy.” Bow! I have a doggy! My doggy is lost. 

So, I went outside the house and looked for my doggy! Tokoy, tokoy, tokoy, tokoy, tokoy….. (478 times)

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GUY: papakasalan ko po anak nyo..

TATAY: kaya mo bang buhayin anak ko?

GUY: bakit po? patay na ho ba sya?

Lintiikk.x.D

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